Do you ever venture down that scenic lane where the lonely hearts gather? Most papers and local magazines have a page or two devoted to the lonely, the sad, the frustrated.

But before you all rush off and see what’s on offer, just bear a few things in mind. Lads and lasses are very creative in how they set out their stalls. Reading between the lines is essential.

• Self-assured – arrogant
• Good looking – immodest
• Laidback – untidy
• Discreet – open to offers
• Any age/looks – desperate
• Serious smoker – smelly
• Can accommodate – good grief

So how would you describe yourself? Cuddly, lots of laughter lines, natural highlights that match life’s experiences?

Go on – sell yourself!